Birthday SMS

Africa

admin — Mon, 01 Aug 2011 03:03:28 +0000

Every time you have a birthday, a child in Africa is starving. Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday!

admin — Fri, 29 Jul 2011 23:08:07 +0000

Happy Birthday! You know, I wouldn’t have remembered if Facebook hadn’t told me.

Chain Restaurants for Free Stuff

admin — Thu, 28 Jul 2011 15:56:47 +0000

Today’s the day we go around to all of the chain restaurants and get your free dessert.

Weird Wish

admin — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 10:12:14 +0000

You should be happy your birthday isn’t forever overshadowed by 9/11.

More friends

admin — Tue, 26 Jul 2011 02:55:53 +0000

This birthday, I hope more of your friends show up than notches on your bedpost.

This birthday…

admin — Mon, 25 Jul 2011 18:55:36 +0000

This birthday, you’re going to learn how to draft a will, and how to include my name on it.

For your birthday

admin — Mon, 25 Jul 2011 15:55:30 +0000

For your birthday, I put together this interpretive dance which I’m going to perform at the party.

$20 bill

admin — Sun, 24 Jul 2011 08:23:07 +0000

So are we just going to keep exchanging this $20 bill for the rest of our lives, or what?

“It’s your birthday!”

admin — Sat, 23 Jul 2011 23:11:42 +0000

It’s your birthday, and for your sake, I hope everyone at the party gives you a pinch to grow an inch.

Whip it out

admin — Fri, 22 Jul 2011 17:07:25 +0000

If you still have your umbilical cord, now’s a good time to whip it out.

Since you have everything…

admin — Thu, 21 Jul 2011 05:07:03 +0000

Since you have everything else you could possibly need, I just brought you the silver spoon that was in your mouth when you were born.

Trim nose hairs

admin — Wed, 20 Jul 2011 19:33:39 +0000

While you’re being showered with compliments and birthday wishes, I’ve decided that now is the best time for a couple of redresses: trim that nose hair, and lose the unibrow.

Today marks the …

admin — Wed, 20 Jul 2011 17:06:29 +0000

Today marks the day of your separation from your mother, but not for a lack of trying on your part.

Do i need reading glasses?

admin — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 14:44:23 +0000

A heads up: Next year, I’m getting you reading glasses.